shuffle, deal, play
by vapanalley
Summary: 10 little drabblets centered around Nene and her fourth master. They need more love.


Ipod Shuffle-thing: 1. Put your iPod on shuffle and write for as long as the song plays. 2. Go back and edit your grammar and spelling. No cheating. :) This is not for profit and no harm is meant. Fun for all.  
Edit: 5/20/11

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_Gamble Everything For Love – Ben Lee_

She is trying. She is trying to let go of her fear and just say the words that are holed up in her heart. Her words are like poker cards she is holding close to her chest and she is taking this chance. Nene holds her words close. Like a good game of poker there are times to withhold the cards. At other times it becomes the right time to lay down all the cards and show the world what you've been truly holding down in the deepest recesses of your heart.

Like a good game of poker everything has its stakes.

_Think For Yourself – The Beatles_

He is laughing because this is sort of what he has always wanted to do. He has always wanted to travel and he has ended up traveling far from home with a beautiful woman by his side. He'll never know what Nene is thinking and he'll never be able to have a normal life like he might have hoped for so long ago.

But he hopes that through his work as a Black Santa he'll be able to help the reindeer finally gain some sense of self. Love is not unconditional and love never should be. It should be freely given.

_Sonata No. 3 in b minor – Chopin_

Nene has a taste for classical music. She discovered it when her first master used to play it for her after Christmas. Before he fell in love with another woman, he used to invite Nene into his house on Christmas morning after they've made their rounds for a cup of hot chocolate and a lovely rendition of many of the classics on his great, black piano.

Nene grew so fond on his music. And her favorite has always been Chopin. Chopin's compositions are thoughtful. A faery's dance or a giant's stomps moving through time signatures and steps of musical bars are what she thinks of when she hears Chopin.

Two masters later and her latest one is so strange.

"What is this _noise_ that's coming from your speakers?" She asks in a disapproving tone.

"Music." He answers like he hasn't a care in the entire world. Blaring bass and loud voices with an undertone of rocking beats spin around the room like mad birds.

"No. Music is Chopin or Vivaldi or Mozart. This is not music." She answers obstinately.

"Whatever." He mutters with a dreamy smile on his face. Nene frowns at him with all her might and the reins tying them together are stretched as she moves away to the other side of the room.

"It's rock." He says simply after a few moments of silence. She just shakes her head and walks back over to him so she can lay on what little space is left on the couch. Her master hogs all the space but she manages to get comfortable. When she looks up her Santa looks surprised but she just looks at him. She doesn't know how to smile as wide as she used to.

"Tell me about this _rock._"

Because she doesn't think classical can be as mind numbingly quiet as this strange music that has yelling voices and words that seem so sad.

_Thanks for the Memories – Fall Out Boy_

Nene is standing at another grave. Her third master is dead and she feels nothing. She is cursed to wander and she doesn't feel the least bit happy for him. She wants to be dead too. She frowns at the loose reins flowing from her chest into the sky and sighs.

"Thank you." She says to the grave. The earth is still freshly dug and she feels like she can almost hear him breathing like he used to. The earth is alive. Her Santa is not.

She kneels to leave a flower and then turns to go atone for her sins.

She finds her fourth master the week after the third's death.

"He tasted like you." She murmurs to her fourth master.

"Really? Well, they say that the third time is the charm."

"But you're sweeter."

_The Resolution – Jack's Mannequin_

He used to look for something to make his life brighter. He used to look for _anything_ to allow him to escape.

He is determined to do better now. Her words ring in his ears and he used want to burrow under the earth whenever he heard her in his head. But that is okay now. Because Nene is there to tell him that she is just a voice. She whispers to him different words so he can finally go to sleep and he tells her that someday the voices in her head will go away too.

They're doing better now. They're determined to go forward and judge and free and condemn like they're meant to. Because someday all the voices will go away and he hopes that they'll be together and being the best.

_The Queen and I – Gym Class Heroes_

Nene is an angry drunk. She shouts and screams and cries and throws things around the tiny apartment they live in. She kisses him fiercely and she is never as stoic in the way she is when she is sober. Once she takes a sip she is going to down the whole bottle and he has seen her wake up in the morning with her hands on her head and yelling dark words and curses at him. Three life times is a long time to amass a large amount of not-so-niceties.

But he has never thought that she would be anything less than royalty the way she moves and gestures and points. She is imperious with the loss of her inhibition. She'd never bow down to anyone. Not even a saint.

_Misery Business – Paramore_

"He is mine." She used to say.

The girls used to look at him with big doe eyes but she was the reindeer.

He used to feel weird about how Nene was always staking her claim but he never stopped her. Who was he to tell her what to do? He was the person who _stopped_ controlling relationships that abused the will of God. So he lets her say what she will because—deep down—he doesn't mind that much.

"You're much more trouble than the last one." She used to say.

And then she would offer him one of her almost hollow smiles. The smiles that look like she doesn't remember what muscles move in what way. She doesn't say much more than that because after he graduates from school she moves in with him. She is always with him, so it's not like girls have a chance to mistaken him for anything but taken. He almost feels rueful about it and he just shrugs off questions from his few friends.

_Lucky Today – Cloud Cult_

Their favorite place is always the nearest hot spring. It doesn't cost a lot and they can feel like they have all the time in the world. A good day is spending it lazing around and laughing at silly jokes with their dark heads tilted together and ruffling in the sun.

The life.

_Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks – Panic at the Disco_

They're careful in introducing themselves. They've met some unpleasant nice pairs who always overrate themselves. The pairs that are silly and young and stupid and quite deserve their titles yet are the worse to manage.

But he reminds himself that he and Nene are here for a reason and he takes it one day at a time with a serving of cynical laugh and pinch of dark humor. He can't help it. He doesn't really need anything more than this.

_Lost – Coldplay_

"I think I'm aging."

"What do you mean?"

"I have new laugh lines. I haven't had new laugh lines since...since before you were born...It means that I'm dying."

"Looks like I'm dying with you."

"Alright."

"You look lost, Nene."

"I'm not. I'm just thinking."

He snickers, and then he can't help but throw his head back and laugh really, really loud.

"We'll be lost together. To our first time dying." He says while raising a glass like the saddest celebration in the world was just held in their cramped, third floor apartment.


End file.
